When we feel connected to other people, we feel less angry and safer. We are also kinder and happier because connection gives us the freedom to share parts of us with others – including our insecurities and fears – which can reduce stress and anxiety. A real connection makes us feel like we have someone to turn to at the end of the day and someone to share both positive and negative experiences with. If you want to feel more connected to others, add the following affirmations into your life.
7 Affirmations That Will Help You Develop More Of A Connection With Others
1. I Accept Myself For Who I Am
Before you can connect to other people, you need to be comfortable with who you are. True connection is a result of people being open and honest, which requires you to know what is honest for you.
When you tell other people what they want to hear, you will always have a superficial connection with them. You can’t go deeper because you are not allowing them to see the real you. And that causes them to feel disconnected from you and you to feel disconnected from them.
When I was young, I never felt truly connected to the guys I was dating because I was never truly myself. I would be someone I thought they wanted to see, and that caused me to talk and behave in an inauthentic way that caused me more pain than pleasure every single time. When I fully accepted myself for who I was, I stopped putting on a mask and pretending to be someone I wasn’t just to get or keep a boyfriend. That’s when I found a guy who liked me for me, and we connected on a deep level very quickly.
I highly recommend you get to know yourself, accept you for you, and work on being the authentic you in all relationships.
Know that you may end up losing some friendships as you do this because the person people thought they knew will disappear very quickly. But, that’s okay. If they don’t like the real you, then they wouldn’t be a good friend anyway. Soon, you will make some new friends and feel more connected than you ever have in your life.
2. I Make Other People Feel Good
Connection is more than just shared interests. It’s about having compassion and empathy and doing good things for each other. One of the best ways you can do this is to actively work on ways to make other people feel good.
- Listen – Don’t make conversations about yourself. Take the time to talk AND listen. I have a friend who likes to talk about herself, but has a hard time listening when I try to share something with her. She either distracts herself with something else while she’s listening or finds a way to bring the conversation back to herself. It’s impossible to feel connected with her because she never listens to me.
- Acknowledge – While you are listening, acknowledge things that are important to the other person. You can repeat what they say, ask questions, or give advice. But make sure you acknowledged what it’s important to them or they won’t feel valued by you.
- Validate – Let people know you care about things they believe in. For instance, if someone is talking about their new interest in soap making, validate that interest as interesting or worth doing. Don’t make fun of them for sharing things with you or you will instantly lose the ability to make them feel connected with you.
- Give thanks – Let other people know that they are important to you. Thank them, buy them gifts, or tell them how important they are to you. When you do this, you are going to make them feel good about your relationship and want to get even closer to you.
- Remember things about them – This is very important if you want to feel more connected to others for a few reasons. When you remember things about others, you show them that you care about their lives. It gives them a sense that you value more than just what they can do for you. If you have a bad memory, you can improve it. Take a course like the Superbrain Quest with Jim Kwik and learn tactics to remember important things like names and other details.
- Demonstrate empathy – People love it when you care about and understand where they are coming from. It builds an instant connection and strengthens old connections.
3. I Seek Out People Who Are Kind And Like-Minded
Don’t build relationships with people who gossip, put others down, or complain all the time. You will never develop a deep connection with these people because you will never have a level of trust that a deep connection calls for. You will always be wondering if they like you, talk about you behind your back, or judge you.
Alternatively, remember that when you gossip, put others down, or complain all the time, people are not going to feel more connected to you.
Be the person you want others to be.
4. I Want To Be More Connected To Others
My neighbor hates people. She must have loved people at one time, because she has a few kids (who never come see her anymore). But, somewhere along the line she decided that she didn’t like other people and didn’t want to be around them. Maybe it was when she got divorced, or maybe it came from her job as a prison guard. I don’t know. But, I do know that she’s not even willing to try to be more connected to others anymore.
If you’ve had a few bad experiences with people, don’t let bitterness grow in your heart. It’s easy to develop a lack of desire to feel more connected to others if you feel like it’s impossible, other people are jerks, or you are not worthy of having that type of connection.
Always affirm to yourself that you want to be more connected to others and allow yourself to stay open to the possibility of new relationships and more connection with current ones.
5. I Accept Other People For Who They Are
People are not all good or all bad. Even the nicest people have problems, make mistakes, and make poor decisions along the way. And, people who are struggling may be very kind when they are feeling good.
When you accept other people for who they are – and where they are at – they feel understood and validated by you, and they will want to have a deeper connection with you.
Therefore, don’t judge other people. Turn off that inner voice that tells you what’s right and wrong, and just allow other people to be who they are.
Also, lighten up. Don’t make a big deal out of small things.
For example, if your partner has some annoying, but harmless, habits, don’t nag them about them. Lighten up, laugh it off, and let them do those annoying things because it’s a part of who they are. You will feel much more connected to them when you can this.
Note: This doesn’t mean that you have to accept negative people into your life. If someone is abusive, controlling, or miserable, you don’t have to accept them for who they are and keep them in your life. You can accept them for who they are and remove them from your life because of who they are.
For example, if your husband cheats on you, beats you, and makes you feel bad, accept that they are not a good person and remove them from your life. You will never feel more connected to someone like that because you can’t build a positive connection with someone who makes you feel bad.
6. I Forgive Easily
If you are holding onto grudges, that’s going to keep you from being able to connect more with others. You must practice forgiveness on a daily basis because there is always going to be someone who ticks you off or does something that makes you upset in some way.
Just like gratitude, you may want to start your day with forgiveness. It’s important to your well-being and your ability to connect without allowing old hurts to stand in the way.
Always remember that hurt people will hurt people. When you hurt others, you won’t be able to make a deeper connection. So, forgive, let go of the hurt, and allow yourself to connect more with others.
7. I Appreciate Close Relationships In My Life
Some people like a ton of superficial relationships in their lives to keep their mind busy. But, superficial relationships don’t make you feel good at the end of the day. They are just a distraction.
To have more of a connection in your relationships do a few things:
- Make quality time – A true connection requires time spent together, quality time where you are focused on each other.
- Make your relationship a priority – When you make your relationship a priority, you will spend more quality time with the person. Your relationship should be at the top of your to-do lists.
- Remove technology – Quality time is about removing the technology and being present with each other to talk, share, and develop a deeper connection.
You May Need To Seek Out Some Help
Some people with personality disorders may benefit from affirmations to help them connect more with others, but may also need more extensive help. Learn about some personality disorders here and, if you think you may have one, reach out for specific help around the disorder.
There are also other issues that can keep you from connection with others, such as:
- Trust issues
- Low self-esteem
Make sure you work on these issues if you want to feel more connected to others.